insto-gratification journal

My livejournal experience has come to an end. Many shared experiences that need some conclusion. Over three years here, I can't believe it. I've made many friends through this and I won't forget you guys. If you wish to continue contact besides the occasional journal update, you can contact me at paxex00@gmail.com. In the mean time I'm doing something a little more personal.

new place.

Take care of yourselves, I won't forget you.

Love and memories,
Brennen.

I update when something noteworthy comes my way.

I broke up with Jen last week, the reason shouldn't be noted. I was pissed until I got myself together and figured out what I was pissed about. I came to terms, told her that we're finished, and tied up loose ends. Since then I have learned more about myself, matured a great deal, and I feel like the Brennen that I used to be. During the week since then I've warmed up, found happiness, and took a step towards a healthy future.

I never thought that the consequences of something so awful would spawn so much happiness. But here we are. And here we go.

Love and high hopes,
Brennen.

I'm like that rock band that everybody adores. Then the band breaks up and everybody mourns, but only for a little bit because there is a new rock band who is twice is good and has better hair. Then I come back months later trying to win back the limelight but it doesn't work because they still have better hair than me. But there are still those few loyal fans who will be in center row screaming for me to sing their favorite song, you know...the one with where I have some falsetto at the pinnacle that makes them melt to their knees in shear agony (or excitement). And then there are those other 30-somethings in the backrow who are just there because they want a drink while hoping that the rock band, that's me, considers playing a cover of some Smiths song. So welcome melting knees and 30-somethings.

In other words, my hiatus has finished and I have the same old hair.

I'll sum up my summer with keywords (in chronological order) that might mislead people who search on google...

Moped, Japan, pictures, chopsticks, dollar stores, helmets, trains, trains, trains, helmets, Pistons, USA, embarrassment, broken mopeds, work, children, children, work, broken mopeds, dying shirts, video games, dying shirts, broken mopeds, ironing shirts, art garage sale, $250, running clowns, work, bavarian bliss, happy hour mondays, co-workers, disappearing best friend, and another, and another, so long 506, hello drug house, drug house?, so long drug house, hello homelessness, stress, work, missing friends, working/broken mopeds, rejection, missing friends, apologies Dana, goodbye work, goodbye homelessness, hello non drug house, hello kalamazoo, hello new phone, hello friends, hello family, goodbye kitty, bats, shooting stars, nakedness, goodbye summer.

If you'd like me to elaborate on any of those drop me an email and I'll give you some insight. And I might give you that old rock band autograph you've been looking for.

Love and even more love,
Brennen

Seriously though, come to my house this Friday from noon to 10pm. We're having an art garage sale, complete with handmade objects, paintings, video games (outdoors!), many CDs for sale, live performances by various artists, a pog tournament, and various other activities and excitement.

There might even be a lemonade stand. Lemonade!

506 W. William Ann Arbor. Email me if you need directions.

Love and circumspice,
Brennen

Mark your calanders. It is the same day of the art fair in Ann Arbor.

Currently sitting in the apple store, high above the bright lights of Tokyo at 1:01 pm (that`s midnight Michigan time) with these weird sweedish girls with too much eye liner sitting across from me while we all enjoy Japan while a typhoon (Irene) is closing in on us. Rainy season, bravo. I`ll provide plenty of photos and such upon my return at the end of the month.

Love and Hai-Chuu`s,
Brennen-san

I got acid all up and down my arts today trying to de-rust a gas tank. That makes me a superhero martyr of some sort, doesn't it? Like I've withstood acid, so I can mutate and withstand anything, like fire, superheros, and world hunger! God, I rage so hardcore.

Love and deformities,
Brennen

Oh, and by the way, the pile of pure adrenaline and spice (my Escort) hit 100,000 miles yesterday. I honked for the entire mile thereafter, inadvertently putting the people of Monroe Michigan in a bit of a confused daze. They didn't know if they should wave or celebrate in my Escort goodness. Obviously they should have chosen the latter.

Love and a crockpot full of love (and spice),
Brennen.

Let me bring you back up to speed...

1. Leaving for Japan in less than a month. Still need to prep. Temporary itinerary set. Check
2. Recently joined the bandwagon. 1978 Vespa Ciao, Silver.
3. Working on webpage/business still.
4. Garage sale art show coming up, need to prepare for that as well.
5. No more summer classes in store. Working full time instead. Swimming, games, kids.
6. One more semester of school, then it's kapoots to the Ann Arbor.

My immediate future looks so vague, and for once I'm embracing it. I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing, but that lack of control is somewhat enticing while unknowing. Change. We'll wait and see.

Love and potential excitement,
Brennen

It's official. June 7th marks my departure for Japan. Kyoto, Kobe, Nagoya, Tokyo. First time to the Pacific, first time to Asia, first time to Japan, first time I will have complete alienation. Countdown.

A week and a half left of school. Countdown.

Less than a week until Mary Pearson's and Brennen's birthdays. Countdown.

Love and ignition,
Brennen.

Groundhog Day party at the rent's house went very well, what with groundhog caroling, trivia, shadow puppets, story telling, piñata and all.

Girlfriend Groundhog

( more impressive pictures of groundhogs and things of the sort )

Until next year...
Love and shadows of imminent doom,
Brennen

Today while walking home, a funeral procession passed by me. A woman almost crashed into one of the cars who had the right of way. While waiting for the process so I could cross the street, the grumpy man next to me murmured to me:

It would have been thoughtful if he had died after i crossed the street.

Love and veils,
Brennen

Today at work I taught French to a group of kids. We played Monsieur Brennen Dit. It went a little something like this:

Monsieur Brennen dit...touchez votre nez.
Monsieur Brennen dit...touchez votre tête.
Monsieur Brennen dit...touchez votre jambe.
Touchez votre bra.
OOO! Je ne dit pas "Monsieur Brennen dit!!"

Funny thing is that I'm failing my French class currently yet I'm teaching other kids French. Parents are in for a surprise.

Love and beréts,
Brennen.

Protesting in DC took the best of me--never have I felt so passionately about something.

Coffins representing dead soldiers

( more pictures )

Love and pepper spray,
Brennen

Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm foreign among people of the United States. French probably, or a Croat. I will be semi-foreign this week as I head for DC on Wednesday night to give Mr. Bush a thumbs down and show my great disdain for our politics here and abroad.

I'm glad I'm dropping everything to head out there. Mourn.

Saw two good movies lately--A Very Long Engagement and Sideways. Jen, Dana and I watched Dark Days and enriched ourselves with the New York underground.

If I had coals in the corner of my room, I could very well make this place into a makeshift sauna.

My roommate is listening to Phil Collins. If I see Phil Collins in DC, I'll give him the big thumbs down too.

Love and tear gas,
Brennen.

Attention, is there anybody who is interested in heading to D.C. on January 20th for the counter-inauguration? I will be taking the bus from Ann Arbor Wednesday night and return Friday morning. Bus buddy anybody?

In other news, classes galore, cookies & movies with Jen1 Jen2 and Dana.

I'm making thai food tonight. Think I might have myself a case of the gurgly bubbly if you know what i mean.

Love and more love,
Brennen.

I went to the hospital yesterday to have a spot in my mouth checked out. I was relieved that my suspicions didn't meet reality--it wasn't cancer. But they end up telling me that one of my teeth need to be extracted because "of a probable hard blow to the face." The thing is, I don't remember being punched and/or thrown into a wall. I didn't fall on my face. I didn't have anything lunge at me. Nonetheless, my tooth will disappear.

I used to have nightmares all the time about losing a permanent tooth. In the dreams I would feel a loose tooth and then wake up thinking that it had completely fallen out. As a result of those dreams, I worked extra diligently to keep my teeth squeaky clean. My nightmares are being reality. Does that make me vain?

Love and band-aids,
Brennen.

Oh man, weekend nutshell. Friday I snuck into a screening of The Life Aquatic. Intensely good and worth the sneakin'. Video games galore. Enlightening conversations with Jen. Study session with Dana and Jen, involving conversations about Jesus and the dinosaurs, sort of. Speaking of, I remember really liking those dinosour egg candies and i miss them. I remember when I asked for the Jurassic Park video game when I was a kid and my dad thought that I had this huge fascination with Jurassic Park, so he told everybody and for Christmas I received Jurassic Park this and Jurassic Park that and other Jurassic Parks.

Love and "from you blood,"
Brennen.

Camping out in the computer lab tonight.

Give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working over time--sixteen hours. And nature's necter--wake up juice. And give me about six of these beef jerky's. I'm hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a rag doll.

I once drank soy hotdog water as a bet but I didn't win anything.

I remember PBS being the channel for losers at one time. Now it's the channel for the New Yorker intellectuals. Time hasn't changed a bit.

Love and National Jesus Day,
Brennen.

I received a care package in the mail today with plastic men attached to parachutes and all I want to do is throw them over the edge of the nearest parking garage and hope that it lands on somebody's face after flying through an open sunroof.

And sometimes I feel like this:


My roommates are now engaged. Feels like the bandwagon is leaving town.

Love and rockets,
Brennen

The prospect of turning vegan is looking more plausible. I have a nasty case of food poisoning from some eggs on Sunday. I beat my personal record with 15 pukes in a 24 hours period.

O how I ache for solid food. I should attend one of Mary's vegan potlucks.

Love and soft foods,
Brennen.

The only time smoke smells good is when it is exhaled through the lungs of an old man.

What does he have to do to not get elected? Here is my premature "I told you so" for anything that happens in the next four years.

Love and hate,
Brennen.

On the eve of the election, when this country couldn't get any more divided, when it's boiling down to the toss of a coin, my mother provides me with an email that sums up my mixed up autumn emotions lost somewhere in that pile in the street just begging for me to jump in. It reads:

Brennen,

I am so on edge about this election, I wish you were here. If Bush gets reelected I am going to join Jen's nuns and protest the Schools of Americas and spray paint missle silos and stop shaving my legs and become a rebel.

Remember, vote early and vote often.

love ,

Mom

oxoxox

PS Vote no on proposal 2. Gays should be allowed to marry and be as miserable as the rest of us.

Amen mother, amen.

Love and crunchy leaf fossils,
Brennen.

Biking to school today I imagined myself riding right past the MLB, leaving town via bike down country paths. Ring-a-ding'in people with my bell and waving, much like I do when I drive past walkers while bumping along in my escort. Maybe stop once in awhile to have a picnic or take a picture. I bet I could sustain myself with little funding, as long as I resort to beans. I then proceeded to class.

Last year I was frankenberry for halloween. Last weekend I was


Love and sugary cereal,
Brennen.

Last night I saw The Motorcycle Diaries and I was so so excited--the movie surpassed my expectations. I was banking on finding great seats at the theater because I had these wicked farts...it didn't work. And on my list of places I will go to some day, I'm adding Machu Picchu.

Going home, halloween party, cider mill, study, homemade pizza, study, driving driving driving and a weekend sealed with more studying.

Often times I've thought about following in the footsteps of Mr. Guavera & Mr. Granado.

Must buy pineapple. Must think of costume.

Love and lost traveling companions,
Brennen.

One year ago today I met Jen. We met on bikes at a rendezvous point, where I decided to show her how to get on top of the buildings on State Street. We decided to visit the book vendor after descending the building. We departed not knowing that we had another year within ourselves.

We laughed, cried, broke up, and made up. We were insecure then comfortable. We were quiet then confessed. We were unfamiliar then explored. We've come a long way no matter what way you look at it.

I've come a long way. I've never dated somebody so long (well, pseudo dated). 1 year is a milestone in my book. I don't really know where the next year will take us, but I await with great anticipation no matter what path it decides to take.

Thanks Jen. I love you.

Love and secret notes,
Brennen.

For those in Kalamazoo that remember...

Bob Log III will be in Detroit at the Lager House Saturday night. Should be mighty entertaining.

Love and boob scotch on the rocks,
Brennen.

Today I sat down to an all you can eat sushi buffet. I finished my veggie rolls and cheese cake and I asked for my bill, only to find out that my entire meal was free of charge. I am so awesome.

Someday, when I'm old and crusty, I want to ride a motorbike to the highest eastern point in the united states so I can see the sun rise. As soon as I see the peak of the sun I'm going to ride my bike so fucking fast across the united states in order to see it set on the west coast. It might take a motorbike with some altarations and some magic, but I think I've got it in me.

This last weekend was so good, you have no idea. I went to the highest point of Ann Arbor and shared it with Jen and some neighboring dogs.

My cat is sitting in a box and staring at me.

Love and artichoke fields at the edge of the ocean,
Brennen.

I'm becoming more hip than I'm willing to admit. Christ, where are my Chuck Taylor hi tops?

Love and hipsters,
Brennen.